


Taako's Delivery Service

by BarbarianBeauty



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Cowards...in the era of convenience, Delivery Driver/Food Critic AU, F/M, Fantasy Costco (The Adventure Zone), Fantasy Doordash, Half Fantasy, Half Modern, Hitting Rock bottom, I take your Coffee Shop AU and give you, M/M, No IPRE AU, Panic Attacks, Slow Burn, Taako Has Issues (The Adventure Zone)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:07:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27647272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BarbarianBeauty/pseuds/BarbarianBeauty
Summary: Taako's hit the Bottom. Rock Bottom. Like pull out a shovel to get lower, kind of rock bottom. Do to...a huge, giant fucking mistake...he's working as a delivery driver for Fantasy Doordash. He just got evicted, and now he's staying with his sister, and her...boyfriend? Fiancé? Nerd. We'll say nerd.Kravitz...doesn't get out much. Not a fan of it. There's too much work to be done, and too many variables outside the door of his home. And since he's hopeless in the kitchen, that leads to him often ordering in for most meals...and...well...he's made a name for himself as something of a food critic online...if it means the high elf delivery driver will keep coming to drop things off, then...maybe he's fine with that.
Relationships: Barry Bluejeans/Lup, Kravitz/Taako (The Adventure Zone), Lup & Taako (The Adventure Zone)
Comments: 17
Kudos: 33





	1. Prolouge: Taako is Emotionally stunted in his growth

The room was quiet.

It was…one, maybe two in the morning. Anything outside the sliding door of the fifth floor apartment was cold, still, and dark. Taako tossed. Then he turned. Then he tossed back, thinking maybe he’d found something comfortable- Nope. Nah, Nevermind. Still, it beat where he’d been sleeping the night before, which was, oh, his car. So Lup and Barry’s couch? Much better, even in spite of the spring that was now digging into his back.

Taako wasn’t one for favors. Whether asking them, or giving them. So when he last minute got kicked out of his last place, his pride was too stubborn to let him ask for somewhere to crash, even if there were maybe a dozen people who would probably be happy to have him.

Okay, maybe a dozen was stretching it…but there was definitely at least three to four solid people who would have been happy to have him. Magnus had a place on the edge of the city…but he was swamped in his carpentry apprenticeship, and he’d just gotten a dog, and you know how much attention those things need. He didn’t need Taako hanging around, nor did Taako want to be saddled with dogsitting. No thank you. A cute little terrier maybe? Sure, absolutely, easy to handle and pick up when they’re being unruly, but that wasn’t Magnus’ style. Of course, he’d gotten some huge bear hunting breed of dog.

Merle would probably rib him to no end for needing to ask to bum on his couch, but…at the end of the day he’d be a good sport about it. He’d probably set it all up, push some clutter aside, move his plants around…but he’d always make room. But…well, there was the issue that Merle was short. Very short. He was a gnome in a gnome sized home, where Taako had to duck to miss slamming his head into rafters. He’ll pass, thanks.

And Lup, well…Lup wouldn’t give him a choice in the matter, she’d drag him in in a heartbeat. She’d force him onto the couch or a guest bed or something and smother him in sisterly love that threatened to suffocate him, asking only that he cook for them in payment. She might poke fun at him. Laugh at him. Threaten to cut his hair while he was sleeping or mess up his make up, but…she never did. She’d never dare. Especially when he was struggling, and tired, and down on his luck. No one else could ever really tell, but…she always could. Nothing about him ever got past her, and vice versa. But…well here came the issue with that. She and Barold had _Just_ moved in together. They were going to be _insufferable._ They had disgusting names for one another, and they hung around each other all the time, and Taako would just be in the way. They were honeymooners. He was not about to crash that.

But…as it turned out, he didn’t have a choice.

The day after getting tossed out, and sleeping in his car, he’d gotten a call from Lup. The two of them talked nearly every day, so it wasn’t unexpected, but it was…ill timed. He started at it for the longest minute, hand hovering over the reject button, thinking over his options as carefully as he could. If he turned down this call, he was going to be in some serious shit. She would burn the city down looking for him, thinking something was wrong. To be fair, she was right, but that’s beside the point. If he answered, he’d have to make up and remember a bunch of bullshit, listening for each microcosm of change in his voice and response, because she would sniff that shit out like a hound.

Or…well…or he could tell her the truth.

Tell her the truth.

Tell her he got thrown out on his ass because his landlord was a greedy shithead. Tell her he slept in his car last night. Tell her he had like- twenty dollars tops in his bank account and wouldn’t get paid for another day or so. Tell her he felt disgusting, not being able to shower last night, and finally, finally tell her, the worst travesty of all. He was going nuts without a kitchen to cook in. Stress cooking got him through most of his life, and not being able to do it now was killing him. He could…crack open that can of worms and let her comfort him, like he was sure she would…

…okay no, never mind. That sounded like a nightmare.

But before he could stop himself, he was hitting the answer button on his stone of far speech, listening as it crackled through the connection between the twins. For a moment, nothing was said. He was going to wait for her to speak. Match her energy. Try and hide this. Another moment passed. Nothing was said. Then…heavy breathing on her end, hitting her stone of far-speech in the most ear destroying way possible, but…despite himself, he was laughing.

“I know where you are Taako.” The voice on the other end said.

“Oh yeah, and where’s that?”

“…shit fuck if I know you’re all over the place.” Lup’s voice returned, forcing another laugh from her brother. “Are you out on a shift?”

“Nah, I’m uh….” Couldn’t say home. “Just in my car. Like…you know how you just wanna sit and listen to music for a sec before getting out?” Good. That was safe. That was the truth. “And I hate to break it to you bubala, but you’re cutting in on my jams, so whatever you’ve gotta say, I’m waitiiing.” Stay on the phone. Just long enough to sound normal, just short enough not to give away any information. Some part of his mind said he was being ridiculous, analyzing the micro expressions in voice and cadence, only to be overwritten by deeper, louder portion of his mind that said this was your _twin._ Your other half since birth. If he could tell a difference in his voice…so could she.

“Are you trying to rush me off the phone?” She accused, and he stiffened, slightly…before hearing it underlined with a laugh. Okay, so she was joking. Good, she was joking… “Come on…you’re not even on shift…hey, I’ve got a better idea. You wanna jam, and I wanna talk. Why don’t you come over, and we’ll sit in the car and talk, like we did before me and Barry moved in…I feel like it’s been forever since I’ve seen you Taako.” His chest squeezed. This was…more than just her wanting to see him. Her voice had that undercurrent of loneliness he’d…admittedly only heard a few times in their life, seeing how…well…they were rarely ever apart. And before he could even stop to consider exactly what that meant for keeping things underwraps, he answered-

“Yeah, I’ll head right over.”

So there he sat, staring at his stone of far-speech, car quiet. The backseat was loaded with his earthly belongings, trunk too…and he’d hopped out to clear the front seat, but…there was no hiding all the rest of this. He could try to play it off, keep the con going, pretend he was fine and listen to her talk about her life of perfect domesticity, like his own wasn’t currently in upheaval.

He rested his head against the steering wheel.

Or….he could tell her.

…

Yeah…he could tell her. And she’d invite him in, and he’d have somewhere warm to stay that night. And as nice as that thought was, it had every last atom in his body _screaming._ They’d been on their own for so long. Just the two of them against the world, and they’d worked their way up. Lup in her studies, full ride…even if she put that in danger a couple times with some of their antics. And him in his cooking-

…which lead him now to being a delivery driver.

But he’d never needed to lean on anyone before. No one. Even their friends were rarely asked for aid, but…that was when he and Lup were together _everyday._ And to her credit, she’d offered him a spot with her and Barry to begin with, but…fuck, do you really want your brother in your apartment with your…fiancé? Fiancé felt right. They were more serious than dating, but Barold hadn’t proposed. Coward.

Regardless, the difference was…all that time? Being able to do things on his own, all by himself…he hadn’t been all by himself. He’d had Lup. She’d had him.

….

And on his own…he was floundering.

He had to tell her. He needed…he needed to ask for help.

Without another thought, hoping to get out in front of the train of ego before it rammed him, Taako started his car, pulled away from his former apartment building without so much as a look back, and began driving across the city to Lup and Barry’s place.

~~~~

He pulled up to the front, and practically before he could even finish sending his sister the message, she was already bounding out the front of the complex and dashing towards his car. He had to slam the unlock button so that she wouldn’t tear his door of it’s hinges as she threw it open hopped in beside him. Before he could even say anything, she’d grabbed him by the ears, and pulled him in to place annoying, disgusting kisses all over his head, messing up his hair, knocking his hat askew.

…Fuck he’d missed her so much.

“You BITCH!!” She yelled, pushing him away from her once she’d placed all she had the intention to, snatching his hat it putting it on her own head, lopsided. He couldn’t help but smirk. She couldn’t pull it off half as well as he could. “You’ve been away FOREVER! GOD, what have you even been doing!?” He was laughing, despite himself, laughing for the first time in what felt like years.

“Working, mostly, you know me, babe.” He snatched his hat from her dropping the mirror in his visor to reposition it. “Lot of orders lately. Some shitty tippers, the ush. What about you and Barold? Heard from him you two got some pretty up there offers!” He elbowed her this time, as they sank into this comfortable rhythm.

Music was playing from the speakers, the playlist he usually had when they went driving.

The Sun was setting, casting the two of them in light like fire that caught platinum hair ablaze.

Lup was there. He was home. He felt more…at ease than he had in…ever, maybe.

She talked about her and Barry’s possible promotion that was on the horizon, he talked about the shitty tipper he’d gotten last week, the one who had obviously more than enough to tip and just chose not to, those kinds of people. The people he and Lup would have pickpocketed, back in the day.

The air was easy. Why had he been so worried again? An hour and a half and nothing was even mentioned about his belongings in the back. His car was usually pretty junky, so…maybe she just didn’t really notice? They were half way through “Kiss the Sky,” sitting in a comfortable silence, watching the last rays of light slip under the horizon as the rest of the city lit up to compensate…when she finally broached the subject.

“So…you moving?”

“Mm? No, why?” He was zoned out. In all honesty…he didn’t even realize he was lying. It was a sort of second nature at this point…technically wasn’t a lie though, right?

“Because you’ve got all your shit in the back.” She said, shifting sideways in the seat to look at him head on. He bit his lips together…but turned to meet her eyes. “Come on. What happened?”

He turned his eyes back towards the road, listening as one song faded out…and the car went quiet. That moment seemed to last an eternity, as though his options were floating right before his eyes, and he just had to pick one. It felt like forever…but it was just the moment between songs, before he finally turned to her.

“…I got evicted yesterday.”

Back his eyes went to the windshield.

“…What? Why?”

“Landlord upped the rent. Didn’t tell me. Then decided he wanted me out. So I said good fucking riddance, I wasn’t about to beg on my knees. I’ve lived in my car before, I’ll do it again-“

“No. You wont.” Lup’s voice was low, but firm, her hand reaching out for his arm. “Come on, Taako. You’ve got a home, right up those stairs if you want in…! Barry and I are doing great, and we’ve got room, and…hey, you can stay…as long as you want. I’ve missed you…he’s missed you…Taako, we love you, but lately, it’s like you’ve vanished, and-“ Her breath hitched in that way he _hated._ “…I’m not letting you go again, okay? So just…just stay. Just stay here, and we’ll get you set up, and…”

Silence again. The music chattered aimlessly. Oh No was right, Marina.

“Stay. Please?” She squeezed. It would have hurt if he wasn’t so used to her. “I can beat your ass later for not telling me…deal?”

A laugh forced itself from his throat, weak and reedy as he became aware of the tears starting to spill over in his eyes.

“Fuck…” He was so tired. He was so tired. So tired of trying to keep months of shit under wraps and together. Keep it all neatly behind a triple locked door that no one had all the keys to. But damn, Lup had fire at her fingertips, and she was more than ready to remind him of that. “Lup….Fuck…”

…he wanted to stay so bad.

“Yeah…I’ll start getting some of your stuff out…where’s your bathroom stuff?” She didn’t wait for an answer, already opening the door and stepping out.

“Uh…driver’s side…floorboard.” He called, still sitting, dumbfounded, wiping feverishly at tears in an effort to cover that shit up. He could stand to cry in front of Lup. But not Barold. If they were going up right now, he’d need to look as put together as any other day.

He eased himself out of the driver’s seat, closing the door behind him and looking at Lup where she stood, arm heaving his Toiletry bag onto her shoulder, and searching the backseat for some semblance of homely comfort. Bedding, Pillows….ah! There it was. Taako flushed and covered his face as she emerged with a very old, very loved stuffed elf doll.

The poor thing was nearly as old as he was. Which was to say _Very_ old for a kid’s toy. His clothes had all but worn away, the color slowly fading from them over years of being dragged through mud and grass and general wear. He was missing an eye, most of his hair, and probably some stuffing….but still Taako kept him.

“Can’t leave him in here, right?” She teased, tucking the doll into the back ever so gingerly before closing the door behind her. “The rest can wait, yeah…? Let’s just get you settled.”

Not waiting for a response, she started back up the stairs, back in arm, assuming Taako would follow. Well…he did. She was right. He took his (admittedly excessive) bag as she unlocked the door, pushing it open to the smell of dinner on the stove. Smelled like…well something basic, he wasn’t paying much attention, as he set his bag by the couch, and stood awkwardly in the door frame.

“Barry?” She called, setting her keys in the dish and taking off her shoes.

“Yes, love?” He called from some…amorphous place further in the apartment.

“Taako’s going to be staying with us a while.” Lup echoed, standing up as Barry poked his head from their shared office space. Maybe Lab space would be a better name.

“Oh! Of course! uh…hey Taako, been a while!” He called, giving a wave.

Taako raised a hand his way and nodded, but…for the moment stayed quiet.

“Cool, so, I’m gonna get the couch set up for tonight, if that’s cool…We’ve got a guest bedroom, but uh...it’s kinda still stuffed with Candlenights stuff, but I’ll get it good to go by tomorrow, and then we can…-“ Lup’s voice faded out in his mind, as Taako sat, and took a long, deep breath. Stability. Stability for the first time in months.

…as much as he’d told himself he didn’t need it…it was a good feeling.

The rest of the evening passed…uneventful, but in a haze. His exhaustion was crushing him now, and he found himself on autopilot, just hoping to get through the next few hours. He sat with his sister and brother-in-law, had dinner with them, and…maybe a glass of wine too many.

He settled in to rest for the evening, Lup checking on him a dozen times, as though…he’d vanish, if she took her eyes off him. He wished he could say there wasn’t a historical precedent for that. But finally, Barry managed to get her to come with him to bed, and Taako was left where we first found him, on the couch of their fifth floor apartment, so tired, but unable to rest.

His eyes fell to his toiletry bag again… then over towards where his sister’s room was, dark, and still at this hour. Guess Barold fixed her sleep schedule, huh? Good for him. But that also meant…what little pride he had wasn’t ruined, as he eased to his feet, and slipped over to where the bag was…there, not far from the top, was the stuffed elf. He had a stupid embroidered smile that took up half of his stained face…and it was like gazing at an old friend. With quiet footsteps, Taako at last settled onto the couch, nestled beneath blankets…and finally, finally drifted to sleep, with his companion tucked between shoulder and cheek.

**At last, the last of the apartment’s inhabitants stilled, and rested.**


	2. Siblings' Quarrel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Funny how days can turn on a dime. Sometimes it takes only a few minutes to take a good day to an awful one, and it seems like Taako hit every single nail on the head for making that happen. Lup protests. Barry's tired.

Taako wasn’t much of a morning person. Neither of the twins were. But maybe it was the sleeping on someone else’s couch that had him cracking an eye to morning light and the sounds of birds singing somewhere beyond the apartment balcony. An ear twitched before he realized…no, that wasn’t it. It was the sounds of a morning routine. He could hear a shower running…soft music playing from deeper in the apartment.

…well…he was awake now. Might as well do something with that. With a heavy yawn and a stretch that had his poor couch-abused back popping, Taako stood from his makeshift bed and padded towards the kitchen with a sway in his step. They had to have something to make for breakfast, right? Something simple. Something he couldn’t mess up if he tried. The fridge had…eggs, cheese, lactose-free milk…hmm…no idea how that’d work in an omelet, but…might be worth a shot. His grandpa had taught both him and Lup how to make eggs like, three dozen different ways when they stayed with him out on his farm, so maybe that was something…

In the back of his mind, he heard the bedroom door Lup had vanished into the previous night open, and quiet, but heavy footsteps come shuffling over the carpet in the hall. Not Lup’s. Barry, then. Now, see, before we come to this next part, it’s important to note something. Taako hadn’t quite had the wherewithal last night to grab out his _own_ sleep clothes, so Lup had been kind enough to lend him some of hers. A tank top, some harem pants, a tie for his hair…all basic things. Which he intensely appreciated, seeing how most of his stuff was dirty anyway…didn’t exactly have time to do laundry before his landlord kicked him out.

So when arms snaked around his waist from behind, and he felt Barry’s cheek against his back, he had to stop from melting into a fit of laughter. “Good morning, light of my life…” Oh, this had so many options, all of which he would never, ever let the man live down…but deciding he didn’t want to suddenly make himself an unwelcome guest in the house…he opted for the most direct approach. He grabbed out the eggs, stood up to his full height, and looked over his shoulder with the biggest shit-eating grin.

“Wrong twin, Barold.” He said simply, pulling out of the embrace to put his ingredients on the counter. “But hey, you’ve got taste I’ll give you that.”

Suddenly realizing his mistake, Barry stumbled into the counter behind him, a flush crawling up his neck and over his cheeks so fast he looked like that time they went to the beach and he got so burnt he couldn’t even smile. “I…-! Oh, my god, Taako I’m so sorry! You’re just wearing her clothes and I- Oh my god, I am _so so sorry!”_

Taako had to grab the counter with how hard he was laughing. Knees buckling, stomach aching, Peels of Laughter. And as if perhaps by some divine measure of fate, it was then Lup chose to appear, her hair wrapped in a towel, and wearing her bathrobe. Just the sight of her had Taako on the floor his grab slipping from the counter. He was gasping for air, clutching at his sides and rolling on the ground in a way that had her grinning without even knowing the joke.

She leaned against the doorframe and turned her eyes to Barry, who had his mouth covered, awkward notes of laughter coming from his own lips. “So, what happened?”

“S-step aside, Lup! Barold’s got a new favorite twin!” Taako called from his place on the ground.

“No, I don’t!” Barry looked down at Taako, then at his partner, who’s face was already in a warm smile. “I just-! He was wearing your clothes, and I was tired, and I forgot he was here-! I just- I-“ Lup cut him off with her own chuckling, grabbing her brother’s hand and tugging him with force to his feet, where he caught himself, like they’d rehearsed this. And…hey, maybe when they were in their youth, they had.

“Well damn, Barry, I wish you’d just told me you were only dating me to get to Taako!”

“No, I-!”

“I hope the two of you are very happy together!”

“Lup!”

It was at this point that Taako slunk his way over to Barry, wrapping his arms around the man’s neck and leaning on him with nearly all of his weight. “He called me the light of his life…I’m thinking about a winter wedding, what about you, dearest darlingest Barold Bluejeans Taaco?“

This went on for a few minutes longer, before Barry finally convinced them, red-faced and out of breath, to drop it for the time being. Lup was standing against the kitchen counter, drying out her hair as Taako began heating the stove.

“Hey, you guys have any green pepper?” Taako asked, already rifling through cabinets like he owned the place. He might as well, this was practically how he was going to be paying rent.

“Uh…not at the moment, why?”

“Oh, just for breakfast…I know you like them in yours.” He shrugged, moving on without it. With a laugh and roll of her eyes, she fished out a potato and stuck it into his hand.

“You’ve got magic dumdum, make a green pepper.”

It was like his world stopped spinning, for a moment. Like everything halted. Like the very ground beneath his feet might drop out from under him. Make a green pepper. Make a green pepper, that was easy, he’d done it a million times with things way less suited for consumption, just make a green pepper. He looked over to see he was gripping the starch so hard his nails were breaking the skin. He made a soft note of panic, and tossed it onto the counter, moving to turn off the stove top and just as quickly dump the half-cooked eggs into the garbage. This whole movement took less than a few seconds, and had Lup standing in shock with her hair half braided.

“Woah, woah, Taako what the fuck?” She demanded, watching as he slammed the skillet back onto the stove, heaving breath after breath. She reached out a hand to place on his shoulder, only for him to shrug it off and step back just as quickly, sights of her and Barry getting violently ill playing in front of his eyes.

Just a few minutes ago they’d been so jovial. He’d been laughing, they all had been. And now he felt like his chest was so tight he couldn’t breathe. What was he fucking thinking…he couldn’t risk them like that. Not them. Not his sister. Just the thought of transmuting something edible was enough to have him almost dry heaving. Didn’t matter if it didn’t even make it into the food, just the thought of that…

Lup could only…stare. Taako had _never. Never_ in their 93 years of life ever…shrugged her off like that. Ever just…pushed her comforting hand away. They’d been through hell and back several times and never once had he…pushed her off. Here her brother was, head bowed over the stove and she couldn’t even touch him. So she just stared, hands raised in this…half defensive, half comforting position, poised to rush to his aid the moment he needed her. She always was. She just wished he needed her more.

Taako’s heaving breaths slowly beginning to even. They weren’t calm by any means but he wasn’t at risk anymore of vomiting, so that was a start. With a shaking hand, he turned off the eye of the stove and pushed the pan aside. Suddenly just the thought of breakfast was enough to make him feel physically ill.

“…Hey…Koko?” Lup tried ever so gently from behind him. “Koko Kringle? You good…?” She only ever pulled out that name when it was serious twin time. Hesitantly…she tried to touch him again, resting one hand on his shoulder…and finding that this time he didn’t shrug her off. He didn’t move into her touch either but just letting her be bodily near him was a start. “Come on…let’s get out of the kitchen, alright?” Without waiting for an answer, she started to steer him back towards the couch he’d slept on last night, easing him down and wrapping him in a blanket. She got down on one knee to be able to look up at him…even if he was currently refusing to meet her eyes.

Having a break like that was…humiliating, to him. He’d been just fine ten minutes ago and now here he was, having to be coddled and cooed to like a fucking infant. Lup was practically acting as his babysitter and he didn’t even have the courage to meet her eye and apologize for being such a fucking nuisance. He should have kept his mouth shut. Shouldn’t have asked for the pepper. Should have just made a grocery list or something.

“Hey, Koko, I’m gonna step away for a sec, but I’ll be right back, alright…? Just wait here, I’ll be right back.” Taako nodded, but found he was loathe to let go of her hand. He could hear the soft whispers from down the hall of Lup relaying what happened to Barry. Elven hearing had it’s perks, to be fair, but…still. He had to wonder…how much had she told him? Was she just now telling him her brother had some issues beyond needing a place to stay, or had she told him about the whole situation when it’d happened last year? He figured everyone in their friend group knew some amount of the story. Some small amount. Lup probably had the most, but even she didn’t know…every last detail. She knew the gist, but…

Only Taako and death knew exactly what had happened, huh?

Regardless, Taako was finally beginning to calm down, his ears twitching again as he could hear Lup and Barry talking down the hall.

“-for today…he’s…babe, he’s rough, and I think he needs me right now.” Lup was saying. Her voice was…hushed. Obviously, she thought he wasn’t listening, but…he wasn’t a damn child. He could hear.

“Yeah, of course…you do what you need, he’s your brother. You know best here.”

The statement was…innocuous, but it had the blood under Taako’s skin near boiling. They didn’t have to discuss him like he couldn’t hear. Like he wasn’t conscious. Like he didn’t know what was best for himself. Nothing. Nothing got him more heated. Lup knew that, and yet here they were. With that rage bubbling close to the surface, he started shedding the layer of blanket he’d been under and making a grab for his flats where they sat neatly tucked by the coffee table.

He could hear the conversation continuing, but he was done listening. Something told him this was petty. This was asinine. Tensions were running high and he was making a fuck-off stupid decision. But then again...when was he not petty and asinine and making a fuck-off stupid decision? He wasn't about to change that streak now. Not when he was exhausted, and upset.

Just as he was grabbing his keys and his stone of far speech, he heard the other two come back in the room. He didn’t turn around.

“Hey, Taako, so I’m- …where uh…where you goin’ there?”

“Work. I’ve got work.” That was a lie. He didn’t care if she could tell. He didn’t have work for at least another two hours, and he was still in her tank top and harem pants. Passable for everyday where, if…maybe just barely. “I’m headed to work.”

“Uh…you don’t…you don’t think you maybe should…take it easy today?” Barry chimed in now.

“Yeah, Taako, I was gonna take off work if you wanted to like…go get lunch, or head to the park or something?”

“Nah, don’t worry about it. Don’t wanna keep you from your job. I’m headed out now.” He insisted, grabbing his hat and fixing it on his head. He didn’t care if it absolutely looked ridiculous with his outfit at the moment. So be it. He was leaving _now._

“Taako- Hey! No, come on, let’s talk about this!” Lup was sounding firmer now. But his mind was made up.

“See ya’ll later.”

“TAAKO-!”

With that, the door shut behind him and he pretended he didn’t hear the cries of frustration from his sister right behind the door. And he pretended they didn’t absolutely kill him.

Without a look back, he hopped into his car, started it up, lamented the half tank he had, and signed in for his shift two hours early with a car full of junk.

There was gonna be hell to pay later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter! This one is up a little shorter than I was planning, but including everything about Kravitz' entrance would have it suuuuper long, so I decided to drop a shorter chapter in between in order to have the next one starting on a clean slate. He'll be coming in next chapter!! I'm really excited for that, but there's a lot of like. jargon that's probably going to come into his because I really want to explain what it is he does for 'work.'


	3. Shrimp! Heaven! Now!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taako has his shift, Kravitz has his lunch, and Lup has a talk.

Kravitz was…to put it nicely, an introvert. He liked his peace, his quiet, his personal space. His work kept him busy and passably fulfilled, his home was immaculate, and the call of the world beyond his very nice apartment interested him little.

To put it rudely, Kravitz was a recluse.

Kravitz was the head Reaper to the Raven Queen. And in past centuries, that had meant risking afterlife and limb to, by hand, venture into the world and claim souls; as well as punish those who might seek to divert the natural course of life and death. Well, that was a long time ago. Things were simultaneously a lot easier, and far more difficult now. For one, Kravitz was rarely out in the field any longer. Instead, he would direct and manage several reapers, interpreting the will of the Raven Queen herself. With Technology, he was able to quickly, effectively, and easy dispatch all relevant information to the parties in need of said information. And to his luck, all of these reapers were quite sharp, seeing how it took really only the finest in wit, cunning, and skill to be specifically chosen by the Queen.

On the downside, much of the mystery had been removed from it all. He didn’t much mind that, he supposed. Mystery was too romantic a word. Here, there was a clear divide. You were either dead or you were alive. If you were not alive, your friendly reaper had done the deed that took you from one plane of existence to the next. The Raven Queen, however, did miss that mystery and sought to keep it alive however possible. Just as she had in the old days, she never revealed herself to others, nor her face even to him. This meant Kravitz was her right hand man…and really the only face most people could put a name to when it came to a higher position within the totem pole of this line of work. So, naturally, most day to day operations fell into his lap.

  
Again, simultaneously far easier and far more difficult.

At least to his comfort, it was easy to keep things running without ever needing to set foot in the actual place that they called ‘headquarters’ which was not only adrift in the astral sea, but also comfortably located about a ten minute drive, thirty minute walk, from his material plane apartment. Though…perhaps there was a part of him, very deep down that missed being the one in the field, immediately part of her retinue.

…when he thought through that, never mind, no he didn’t. She could be…extremely esoteric at times, and he found it a job and a half when it had been just him, attempting at times to decipher precisely what it was she wanted.

So, to sum it all up, Kravtiz was comfortable. Quite comfortable, indeed. He had gotten things running so smoothly, in fact, that he rarely ever had to actually venture into the physical work location. Perhaps six or seven times in the last year, to handle large problems or make an expected appearance at their annual Candlenights party before quickly ducking out. But there was an undercurrent to this comfort. Boredom.

Boredom that sunk deep into his bones and had him moving at a pace so slow he wondered if it could even be seen by the naked eye. His days were spent working, his evenings spent doing…well, any hobby that caught his attention long enough for him to attempt…

And that’s how he’d found himself as a food critic online.

It hadn’t been intentional! Not at all intentional. But…well, he ordered pre-prepared food frequently, regardless of whether or not he _had_ to eat, and had found that he enjoyed…well…reviewing them. This was all done anonymously, of course. He had no intention of letting anyone know that the right hand to the Raven Queen was reviewing Pasta Primavera in his spare time, but…it brought him a little something to look forward to, he found. And thus far, he’d been doing it for about five months, gaining a steady little local following.

So, his plan for today went as follows.

He’d started by answering emails. Usually, he had a few come in over night from the reapers on assignment if they had questions or concerns that he’d attempt to answer immediately, (last night had been rather quiet, however) but all others would wait until morning.

Next, he’d performed his ritual commune with the Raven Queen, spreading inky feathers over his altar and bowing his head as she answered his call. She’d had little in mind for him for today. Apparently, early autumn was not a popular time for necromantic crimes that might need his attention, so that was fortunate. Regardless, she warned him of the coming solstice. Solstices were always a nightmare that had them spread ridiculously thin. He promised that he understood, and that he’d include it in his debriefing to the team (which he did, thank you.)

After that was paperwork, which took a good chunk of his day…before finally, he took a break in the middle for lunch. There was a new restaurant that’d opened up just about a block from his home that he was wanting to try. He was going to… _go_ and try it. He was going to just…walk out that door, and walk down the street, and make it to the restaurant with nothing going amiss.

…now. He was going to do that now.

…

Now.

Kravitz’ hand hovered over the door knob. He was completely ready. Everything he could possibly need for such a quick trip, he was ready.

…Now.

Still, his hand hovered there, and didn’t move.

This was so easy. He’d done so many things that were far more dangerous, yet here he was, struggling to leave his apartment? With a note of frustration, he withdrew from the door, telling himself it was because he wanted to save time. Right. Save time. There were other things that needed doing and leaving for that long without saying anything was irresponsible in his position. It wasn’t because he was anxious. It wasn’t because his heart was hammering in his chest. It wasn’t because-

…He wasn’t scared. He wasn’t. Not when he’d faced down liches, and abominations, and far, far worse than the brisk walk to a restaurant. He wasn’t scared.

He was just very nervous, that was all.

Resigning himself to the fact that he’d gotten himself dressed for nothing, he sat down, and went about ordering his meal, glancing at his critique while doing so. He’d tried pasta yesterday, so…maybe seafood today…?

~~~~

Taako’s shift was not going well. Which, in all honesty he wasn’t really expecting it to? But still it was going pretty shitty. It was nothing outrageously out of the ordinary, but when he was already in a bad mood, it didn’t take a whole lot to get him pissy. The one saving grace? The tips today were damn good.

But to put it frankly, there had been a lot of hiccups. Restaurants being out of things, Customers being rude, traffic being awful, the works. But whatever. He dealt with this almost every day, he could deal with it today.

Next order? …yeah, he knew where that place was…it was a little one, not too far from where he was now. And…oh, yeah, he knew that place actually. It wasn’t too far from where Lup and Barry’s work was…alright, he could get there. Looking at the clock told him there was another hour in his shift…which was probably going to be another two deliveries with how things were shaping up. Then…well he’d have to decide what he wanted to do from there. It was reaching mid afternoon at this point, and when he got back to Barry and Lup’s place it would probably be around dinner.

…If he went back to their place at all. He couldn’t imagine Lup was too happy with him right now, but whatever. For right now? The order. Simple steps. Focus on right now.

The restaurant he found himself pulling up to was cute. It was a little brick building, with arched windows on the front. Ivy crawled up the walls in beautiful long swaths, and the sign just above the door read “Shrimp Heaven” with the small emblem of a winged shrimp just above it. Taako could already smell what was going on inside, and he had to say, he absolutely approved. With his delivery bag on his shoulder, he pulled open the front door.

“Hey there, welcome in!” A woman called from the area that lead back into the kitchen, as he walked up to the front counter where deliveries were placed. Just a moment or two of waiting later, and she came rushing back out to meet him. If Taako had to guess, she was probably the only person running this place at the moment. Luckily for the both of them though, It was in between the lunch and dinner rush, meaning that the restaurant was only populated by a few stragglers and the odd couple, here or there.

She was a Drow woman, with bright silver hair in a high bun, kind eyes, and a smile that made them glow. Damn, just from where he was, she radiated happiness and contentment. Taako couldn’t help feeling some of his prickling edge falling off as she approached, wiping her hands on her apron. But right as she was getting close, she stopped cold and her eyes went wide.

“Oh…my god, Taako!” She exclaimed, coming around the counter to look at him.

Oh shit. Recognition…this could either go really good or really bad. Probably really bad, seeing what he might be known for at the moment.

“Ah…yeah, that’s me…! So, I’m here to pick up an order for-“

“Wow! Uh, wow!! I haven’t seen you in like, two years!! Not that- Oh god, not that you have any reason to know who I am, but…I came to your open show a couple years back! My name is Ren, and…wow, Taako, you’re the only reason I’ve got this place up and running right now!” She was saying, that smile near dazzling as she took his hand to shake. “Oh, but right! Where are my manners, I am so sorry.” She hopped back behind the counter. “Picking up for who now?”

“Uh…it’s listed as Kravitz? And you said this is what now?” Taako was…stunned. Dumbfounded. He couldn’t remember the last person he’d met from that time in his life that…well, that didn’t refuse to associate with him anymore.

“This place here? You’re the whole reason I got into cooking in the first place! Well, professionally, I mean…I’d always really loved it, but you’re the one who gave me the push to make it real!” She pulled a bag from beneath the surface to push it his way. “I went to see you when you had that like…open to the public session? I think they held them every couple of months, and you were…wow, you just spectacular.” She chattered on, Taako smiling, nodding, pretending that this wasn’t…actually really hard to hear.

Don’t get him wrong, the praise was really nice. But…well, look at it this way. The person he’d crossed paths with was now doing what he wanted to do. She had her own restaurant, which seemed pretty successful thus far. She was happy. She was fulfilled. He couldn’t help but be a little envious.

“Well, I’m glad that I could help, homie, good for you.” He offered her a smile as he started to slip the meal into his delivery bag…which seemed to be when she realized that he wasn’t there picking up something for himself, but rather…working.

“Did…uh…did something happen?” The words were honest, he couldn’t fault her there. They were just an honest question as to why he was working for fantasy doordash and not…well. Doing the same thing she was somewhere. Or touring. Or otherwise cooking professionally.

“Ahhh, well uh…you know? Some stuff just…happened. Family stuff. Had a string of bad luck, you know how life can be.” He shrugged, zipping the bag closed. That was about as specific as he chose to be.

“Ah, yeah, I know…I was there before openin’ this place up, but…hey, I hope it works out.” She promised him, patting the counter in a way that seemed…well, downright affectionate. Taako opened his mouth to say something else, when a different patron from across the small restaurant raised his hand and called her name.

“Oh! Be right there!” She turned back to him for a moment. “Real good to see you Taako…you should come in sometime! Let me give you a meal on the house, since…well, you’re the reason the house is standing, huh?” And with that, she went scurrying over towards the patron in the back booth, leaving Taako to move to his car, and take a seat inside.

What he was feeling was…mmh…conflicted, probably. Don’t get him wrong, it wasn’t fair. He couldn’t help wanting _exactly_ what she had. And he’d been right there on track to get it, if he hadn’t fucked up, but…

…she seemed really genuine about it. Really happy. Really honest. Whatever anger he might have felt, seeing someone else in that same position was neutralized by just how passionate she’d been, how honestly happy she was to see him, and how empathetic she was. He answered. She understood. No prying.

…yeah, Ren was cool.

And with that, he pulled away from the little restaurant, and started heading for the address only about a block away.

~~~~

Kravitz was now sitting on his couch, plucking idly on his laptop while waiting for his meal to arrive. Soft music was playing from somewhere in the apartment, accompanying his work as he went. He perked up, however, upon hearing the soft knock at his door. Ah, there it was! He hopped from his seat, moving to the door…and again letting his hand hover over the knob. From the other side, there was a monotone call of-

“Fantasy Doordash.” Taako rapped his knuckles against the heavy wood door. Nice place. Like…really nice place. The apartment building was quiet, and clean, it was one of those where he’d had to show that he was with a delivery service to get past the security guard at the front door. Damn. And with how ratty he was looking today; he wouldn’t have been surprised if the guard hadn’t even let him in. As another minute passed, he began looking back and forth, starting to wonder if he had the right apartment number. He rapped his knuckles against the apartment door again.

‘Just leave it by the door’ was on the tip of Kravitz’ lips. He did that most days. Then, when he was sure that they delivery driver was gone, he opened the door and retrieved his meal. But not today. It took most of his will, but his hand wrapped around the doorknob and quickly pulled it open to find-

Taako had his hand raised, ready to knock again, when the door swung open with force. On the otherside was, without exaggeration the hottest guy Taako had ever seen in his life. He was tall, in a dress shirt and waistcoat, the collar affixed with a golden pin of a Raven. His hair was in tight, thick braids, pulled loosely to the back and affixed with two feathers tipped with that same gold of his pin. His eyes were warm, a deep brown flecked with light. And _damn_ was he tall. Like the kind of tall Taako wouldn’t mind climbing.

And Kravitz found himself faced with. Well. Honestly? A very bedraggled looking high elf. He was slight, tall, and thin, with thick curly blonde hair that dusted over heavily freckled shoulders, only broken by long slender ears that extended several inches from either side of his head. He was wearing a teal tank top, rose colored Harem pants, black flats, and the biggest, floppiest, most outrageous wizard hat Kravitz had ever seen, dappled with baubles and charms that he was sure made quite the racket where ever he went. Those same freckles dusted his cheeks and nose, leading to eyes that were half lidded, and a calm, but sharp, blue-green. His mouth hung slightly agape, showing teeth with a small front gap.

…And despite his bedraggled appearance, Kravtiz found his cheeks warming.

“Uhhh…” Taako cleared his throat, and fished the food from his bag. “Delivery?” He shrugged, offering the food towards Kravitz, who shocked from his stupor with a note of surprise.

“Right, thank you. I uh…do…I owe you anything?” He found himself asking. He knew that he didn’t. He’d paid, and tipped, in advance.

“Nah, you’re good homie, what you left earlier was _choice._ So uh. Enjoy your meal.” He waved, taking a step back, and starting to walk away. Kravtiz stared a moment or two longer, watching the elf retreat down the hall, before becoming aware of how that might look, and returning to his apartment with his newly acquired meal and warmed cheeks.

~~~~

Taako sat in his car after that delivery, staring at the clock. He was technically on for another twenty minutes, but any orders he agreed to now would go over his shift. He’d clocked in early…so, with a shrug, he took his stone, and ended his shift for the evening. But…that offered the problem of where to go.

He could go back to Barry and Lup’s place, hoping there was still room. He could pre-emptively head to Magnus, that guy would always have his door open. And though he didn’t like the thought, there was Lucretia-

No, never mind. Not Lucretia. Not Lucretia. She’d probably be way too busy with her studies anyway.

…But all his…well, most important belongings were with Lup. With Barry. At their apartment. Which he’d left this morning in a hissy fit for the ages that had him covering his face in shame. …But there was no fixing that now. With the sun just starting it’s push into the late afternoon, Taako headed back to where he’d started the day, hoping there was still room for him.

~~~~

Taako stared at the door. It stared back. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, debating whether to knock, or unlock the door with the spare that he had. Finally deciding on drawing as little attention as possible, he unlocked the door and pushed it open, half expecting a fireball to strike him down where he stood.

…

But it was quiet.

Maybe he hated that even more than if a fireball had struck him down where he stood.

With a deep breath, Taako pushed his way further in, looking the living room and kitchen as he went and coming up empty, before finally hearing something…shuffling, in the back-guest bedroom. It struck him. Lup had mentioned _calling out_ of work. If she hadn’t done that, then the house should be empty…he quietly moved back to his things, and pulled out a worn, hand-me-down wand from the bag Lup had brought in the night previous.

…Just to be safe, of course.

He tucked it flush with his forearm, hoping to conceal it as he walked ever so lightly towards the back bedroom. He stopped to give another listen. Rustling still….things being moved around. With a quick motion, he rounded the corner, absolutely ready to blow someone away if need be.

But instead…he just found his sister, sitting on the floor of a freshly cleaned and organized guest bedroom, looking through some kind of book. And upon hearing his motion, she looked up. A smile crossed her lips. The kind that says ‘I’m happy to see you’ and ‘you’re fucked’ simultaneously. One of her many talents.

“Hey shit for brains.” She finally says, paying no attention to his defensive pose, before looking back down at the book in her hands. “Come here a sec.” She nods him over, to where she was sitting on the floor in front of the bed. Wordlessly, he obeyed, plopping beside her to see what it was she had.

A photo album. Huh…He hadn’t seen this one in…wow. A long time, especially if the pictures were anything to go by. Lup flipped back to the front of the book, moving it between them to he had a better look. There, the first picture was of the two of them on the day they were born. It was…very, very old, held together through mostly magical means, but the photo was clear. The both of them were swaddled tightly in soft, purple blankets, completely identical. Not a difference between them. There were a few pictures of them as toddlers, in little outfits and onsies of all colors, again, completely alike.

Two little elven twins in matching overalls…and then in the next picture, one in overalls, and the other in a newly made dress. Lup smiled fondly. “I remember mom saying she liked putting us in overalls, because it meant she always had a handle.” Her voice was…soft. Full of love in that moment. She turned the page, and the both of them frowned a bit. Here, there was a big gap. The next photos had them at their 40’s, several decades left undocumented. Neither of them commented, but both of them knew. But Lup brightened again, and pointed to one of the pictures.

“Hey, this is when Auntie got you your first hat.” She said. She was right. It was nearly as big as Taako was at that point, with a pink ribbon, and a peony blossom for luck in it’s band. “Ahh…man, I miss that woman.” She hummed sadly, looking at another photo, younger this time, covered in cake batter. Taako’s first attempt at cooking unattended.

“Yeah. Me too.” He missed her…but damn if he wasn’t glad she wasn’t alive to see how far he’d fallen. He scooted away at this point, signaling his completion of mandatory memory time. “Look…Lup? …I’m sorry, okay? About this morning. I just…got all bent out of shape and had to go clear my head.” His twin took a deep breath and closed the book on her lap, bringing her knees up to her chest.

“…I forgive you, but…Taako, you can’t go running off like that again, okay? Tell me…tell me when you’re gonna go, because like…for a while there? I was climbing the walls thinking…what if you didn’t come back?” The two of them sat in silence for a long moment. Taako couldn’t say he would never. He had. That ship had sailed. “Look. House rule, right now. Come and go…however you please. Make this your home too. But…we’re part of your home. You can’t just…cut us out, okay?” She took his hand in hers, and gave a small squeeze.

“Well…hey, if you thought you were gonna get rid of me that easy, I’m afraid you’ve got a big storm coming.” He promised, squeezing her hand in return.

“Taako…remember when I was getting ready to change jobs, and Barry came into the picture, and we had that…talk? I love him with all of my heart but-“

“But I am your heart, yeah…I remember.”

“…when you up and leave like that? You take my heart with you. You…whisk it away somewhere, and I worry. I worry so bad, hoping that…you’re safe, you know? I know this year has sucked, and I know it’s been really bad, but…I need you. I need my heart here. And I think you need me, is that safe to say?”

For a long moment, Taako didn’t answer, before slowly just giving a solemn nod. She was right. He needed her.

“And hey…I got your room all set up, so…you gotta stay now.” She smiled, gesturing around to the guest room. For the first time, he really look a look around. The room was indeed now clean, with the bed neatly made, and blankets folded at the foot. Fairy lights hung around the headboard, casting the room in a warm glow without the need for the lamp. There were pictures on the wall of the two of them, of Barry and Lup, of him, Merle, and Magnus, of their whole friend group…the portrait Lucretia had drawn of him hung by the door. If he didn’t know any better, it looked like he’d been living here, for…months. Like it was home.

He couldn’t help but smile.

“Damn, Lup…you really outdid yourself this time…” He hummed, moving to sit up on the bed. She followed him up, and flopped bad.

“Ugh…yeah, you owe me. I’ve been working on this all fucking day.” She covered her eyes with an arm and groaned before Taako elbowed her.

“When’s Barold due home?”

“Uhh…what time’s it? 4ish? Probably….mm, give it another hour or so. Maybe two. Why?”

“I uh…I gotta talk to you about something.” She sat up at this. “It’s uh…it’s about that whole mess that happened last year. I think I needta…like…get it all…out there, or something. But you can’t tell _anyone._ Deal?” His chest was already seizing at the thought of baring his soul like that to someone else, but he couldn’t do this anymore. She needed to know. She needed to know everything.

“Uh…yeah, Taako, whatever you need.” She pulled her legs up onto the bed, and crossed them so that she could face him, giving undivided attention.

For the next two hours, he talked. He explained everything. Even the parts she already knew, she listened to diligently, not interrupting, just taking in information. When he broke down, she held him. When he raged, and tugged at his hair in a fit, she took his hands. When he cracked beneath the pressure, she was there, ready to help bear the load.

Now Taako, Lup, and death knew all the details.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh this is a fucking unit. A huge boy. a big ass bitch. I couldn't find a way of splitting this chapter that I liked, so I left the whole thing together and it's HUGE. But overall, I'm happy with the outcome! I like writing for Kravitz. He's an organized, Anxious good boy to Taako's depressed disaster twin mood.


	4. Small update!

Hello my lovelies!! Just a small update, which will be deleted and replaced with a chapter hopefully soon! I just wanted to let you know where I am, so you don't think this fic is abandoned! I'm currently on my second to last day of finals, which have been murderous. For a peek behind the curtain, I'm a senior in college, and a double major with a language minor, so this upcoming semester is my last one!! Getting through the last two weeks has been pretty difficult, all truths told, but I'm really excited to come back to this fic. I have plans to bring in some new characters, new plot points, and maybe a side story or two that doesn't fit in with the storyline I'm telling now!

That's about it! Just wanted to give you all a little hey! I'm okay!

And I've been consuming media at a breakneck pace...I nearly finished all of Graduation in a few days, someone help me. Then I switched to the Animaniacs reboot. And then I turned to a horror movie marathon...so expect references!

Much love,  
BB


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